


I Fell Asleep Beside You (I Woke Up Alone)

by Insert_Creative_Name_Here



Category: Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Gen, Obi-Wan Kenobi Needs a Hug, despite what the title may imply this isn't romantic, honestly this is just me projecting, i don't hate qui-gon but this is going to make you think i do, just pure familial angst, obi-wan kenobi's nightmare of a padawanship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-07
Updated: 2021-02-07
Packaged: 2021-03-12 23:41:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,851
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29268870
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Insert_Creative_Name_Here/pseuds/Insert_Creative_Name_Here
Summary: In another universe, Qui-Gon Jinn never returns to Melida/Daan.In another universe, Obi-Wan Kenobi is left angry and alone on a planet scarred by war.In another universe, Anakin Skywalker is trained by Qui-Gon Jinn.In another universe, no one has heard the name Obi-Wan Kenobi in years.In another universe, Qui-Gon Jinn is about to get his ass handed to him.
Relationships: Anakin Skywalker & Ahsoka Tano, No Romantic Relationship(s), Qui-Gon Jinn & Anakin Skywalker, Qui-Gon Jinn & Obi-Wan Kenobi
Comments: 29
Kudos: 214





	I Fell Asleep Beside You (I Woke Up Alone)

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place like mid-season 2 in my mind, so Ahsoka hasn't really learned the whole war thing yet, and Anakin still has faith in a lot more people.

Obi-Wan knew when he stayed on Melida/Daan that he wouldn't be going back to the Jedi Order. He _knew_ this.

So why did it hurt so much when Master Qui-Gon didn't come back?

Obi-Wan wasn't expecting him to. He wasn't. But there was a voice in the back of his head, telling him that Qui-Gon would return. It was the Force, Obi-Wan knew, telling him that it would be okay. That his Master would come back.

He didn't.

Obi-Wan stays on Melida/Daan for five years after the war ends, helping the planet recover, establishing an effective government, and thinking. A lot of thinking. Something had gone wrong, he knows. Master Qui-Gon should have come back. This isn't right. He isn't supposed to be here.

So, when he turns eighteen, Obi-Wan leaves Melida/Daan to track down his old Master. He doesn't know what he'll do once he finds him.

* * *

Anakin didn't want Master Qui-Gon to come with him, Ahsoka, Torrent and Ghost companies to Tresinn. Qui-Gon was getting old, and he tired quicker. They had been away from the Jedi Temple for a good few rotations, and Anakin could tell that he was feeling unbalanced.

Anakin insisted that Qui-Gon rest, that he, Ahsoka, Cody, and Rex could handle the fight, but Qui-Gon insisted on coming.

"Someone wants me here," he'd said, like that wasn't _more_ of a reason to stay behind. Anakin told him this, but Qui-Gon only smiled serenely, said "Then I suppose I must take care of them now," and stepped onto a gunship.

That was two hours ago, and Anakin is still worried.

Torrent and Ghost meet up at their predetermined rendezvous point, and Qui-Gon is still alive and mostly uninjured.

"Master, are you okay?" Anakin asks after their short briefing. "Did you run into anyone?"

"Some droids, yes, but I believe we covered that in our briefing."

Anakin glares at him. "I _meant_ anyone who was here to kill you. Anyone who _wanted you here?_ "

Qui-Gon gives him a stern look, then softens. "No, my former Padawan. I'm okay. I will alert you if I run into anyone out of the ordinary who wants me dead."

"Thank you," Anakin says. "Be careful."

"I always am."

There's a poke from his bond with Ahsoka. He looks at her.

_You okay?_ she asks.

He nods. _I'll be fine._

They split up again, Qui-Gon and Cody taking Ghost company down to the lower levels to find and destroy the Separatist weapon of the week, and Anakin, Ahsoka, and Rex taking Torrent to capture the leader of the base.

They're creeping up through a hallway when Anakin spots a group of B1 droids around a corner. He holds his hand out as a signal to stop, and flattens himself against the wall.

The droids are firing at something, but it's not Anakin or his troopers. No, they're firing in the opposite direction. They haven't even noticed Torrent.

"There's someone up there," Anakin whispers.

"Do you think it could be Master Qui-Gon?" Ahsoka asks.

Anakin's heart skips a beat, but when he focuses on his and Qui-Gon's bond, he doesn't feel any distress. "No," he says. "Qui-Gon's okay. This is someone else."

"Then we need to help them!"

"We don't know who they. Or what side they're on."

"Well they're not on the Separatists' side. They're being shot at."

She's right, Anakin thinks. Maybe, if they save whoever this person is, they would help them capture the Seperatist leader.

"Alright," he says. "Troopers, fire on the droids on my mark. But _be careful_. They're firing on someone, and we don't want to hurt that person. Ahsoka, you're with me. We'll charge them."

Anakin gets quiet noises of affirmation in response.

"Now!" he says, turning the corner and running forward, Ahsoka right behind him. Immediately, blaster fire erupts from behind him, and he sees three droids fall. The ones closer to Anakin turn and start returning fire.

Anakin deflects two blaster bolts and slashes at the droid in front of him. It's easy to fall into the monotonous rhythm of _block, slash, block, stab_ that comes with every battle. It doesn't take long - maybe two, three minutes - for the herd of droids to thin enough so that he can see the person on the other side.

At first, he thinks they're a Jedi - they're certainly deflecting blaster bolts like one. They're holding two long swords - not lightsabers - but their movements mirror Anakin's. _Block, slash, block, stab._ They _look_ like a Jedi, but Anakin doesn't recognize them - and he hadn't heard anything about another Jedi on Tresinn.

Together, Anakin, Ahsoka, the not-Jedi, and Torrent manage to take out the droids. Now that the fighting is over, Anakin can take a better look at them.

They're human, probably male, with short auburn hair, a mustache, and a beard. His Force signature glows dimly - not enough to be a Jedi - but he's at least minorly Force sensitive, although Anakin doubts he knows it. He's wearing armor, and Anakin notes that he has two vibroblades and a blaster on his belt. Obviously. he's here for combat.

Anakin hopes that he isn't here for Qui-Gon.

"You're Jedi, aren't you?" the man says.

Next to Anakin, Ahsoka opens her mouth to answer, but Anakin holds up his hand. Better to see if the man wants to kill them first.

"I'm not here for you, if you are," the not-Jedi says. "I'm following a bounty on the leader of this place. A no doubt _charming_ gentleman named Domara Sighn."

"Someone put a bounty out for Sighn?" Ahsoka asks. The man nods. "But he's a Separatist!"

"Not every bounty hunter is aligned with the Confederacy, youngling."

"I'm not a youngling!" Ahsoka protests. "And if you're not aligned with the Separatists, why do you call them the Confederacy?"

Something about the man's usage of the word _youngling_ hits a chord with Anakin. It's a Jedi term, but this man isn't a Jedi.

The man responds to Ahsoka. "I'm not aligned with either side. Personally, I think that if the leaders of both sides were to sit down and talk to each other, this could be solved quite peacefully. There is no need for conflict." He gives a dry laugh. "This seems to be a running theme in my life."

"Great," Anakin says. "We want Sighn off of this planet, you want him…" he trails off.

"My client wants him dead. With proof of termination," the man clarifies.

Anakin nods. "And you want him dead. So how about we work together to get to him, and then we can decide what to do with him when we arrive?"

"That sounds agreeable."

"Good. Do you have a name that we could call you?"

The man pauses. "Call me Ben."

"Alright, Ben. I'm Skywalker, and the kid's Tano. Let's get moving."

* * *

Honestly, Obi-Wan expected that working with a Jedi again would be more painful. Instead, he's able to fall into a comfortable rhythm with the pair. and he's only minorly put off by the army of clone troopers that they brought with them.

Obi-Wan had met Jango Fett a couple of times over the years, and even though none of the clones take their helmets off, it's still strange knowing that his face is repeated on each of the soldiers.

All in all, not the worst job he's had to take, over the years.

And Qui-Gon Jinn is here, which makes it all the better.

Obi-Wan's not furious at Qui-Gon anymore. He's annoyed, sure, and if he thinks about Melida/Daan for too long then he gets angry, but Qui-Gon is so far in his past that Obi-Wan knows it would be unhealthy to still be angry at him. He's so far removed from the Jedi he could have been that he finds it hard to miss that life.

That's not to say that he's forgiven Qui-Gon. He hasn't. He's just made his peace with his life, and he doesn't want to throw it all away just to kill one man.

He kills Sighn. Skywalker and Tano don't seem too torn up about it. Skywalker - Jinn's former padawan, as Obi-Wan had learned from the minimal research he'd done onto Jinn before taking this job - looks on with an odd degree of satisfaction, and Obi-Wan is vaguely put-off by the well-repressed tendril of relish emanating from Skywalker's Force presence, if he looks hard enough.

Tano feels carefully indifferent. She's a child of war, and Obi-Wan can really only be so sad about that. She's older than he was, when he'd entered his first battle. What that says about the current state of the Jedi Order, he doesn't know.

When they step into what must be Skywalker and Jinn's rendez-vous point, Obi-Wan feels _complete_ in a way he really wished he didn't. Jinn is there, and since - for some reason - he'd never severed their training bond, Obi-Wan gets a rush of _safecomforthome_ that he'd felt almost constantly during his Padawan years, when he was with Jinn.

Jinn doesn't seem to notice, and if he does, he probably chalks it up to Skywalker's entrance. Obi-Wan had learned to conceal his Force presence years ago. He was never fully convinced that his disgraced former Grandmaster wouldn't come looking for him, and he doesn't hate the Jedi _that_ much, to join Dooku.

"Who is that?" Jinn asks Skywalker, completely ignoring Obi-Wan's ability to speak.

"A bounty hunter," Skywalker says. "He was after Sighn. I figured we could team up."

"You worked with a bounty hunter?"

"Not all bounty hunters have broken moral compasses," Obi-Wan says, raising an eyebrow. He meets Jinn's eyes. "My name is Ben. Ben Kenobi."

Jinn narrows his eyes. Obi-Wan feels him dig up and tug on their long-suppressed Force bond - he's made the connection - but he doesn't acknowledge it. Instead, he gives Jinn a look of vague - and fake - confusion, and laughs to himself when Jinn loses all pretense and just glares at him.

"…Qui-Gon?" Skywalker asks. "Do you… know this man?"

Obi-Wan smirks. "You didn't tell them?" he asks in fake offense, even though he already knows the answer is yes.

"What are you doing here?" Jinn almost growls, and Obi-Wan can _feel_ the surprise of the rest of the room at his tone.

"Oh, I was in the area. Figured I'd stop by, check up on my old Master, maybe get a bounty out of the way while I'm here."

"Your old _Master?_ " Tano gasps, and Skywalker's obviously too busy gaping at Jinn to shush her.

"He didn't tell you about me, did he?" Obi-Wan muses at them, his eyes still locked with Jinn's. "Of course he didn't. He never could acknowledge his failures."

"Obi-Wan," Jinn says in his _disapproving parent_ tone. Obi-Wan squints at him, just to annoy him.

"Wait, I thought your name was Ben," Tano says.

"I lied," Obi-Wan says. "People do that a lot. You should get used to it."

"What are you here for, Obi-Wan," Jinn asks, somehow making it sound like _Obi-Wan_ is the problem here.

"Why doesn't your Padawan know about me?" he asks in lieu of answering.

"He didn't need to know."

"Really. He didn't need to know about me? What about Xanatos? Or Feemor? You know, the other Padawans you've failed?"

"I didn't fail you, Obi-Wan."

"You left me in the middle of an _active war zone!_ " Oh, there's the kicker. The whole room snaps to stare at Jinn.

"You made your decision. You knew what would happen."

"I was _thirteen!_ No one should have to make life-altering decisions at thirteen!"

"We had a deal."

"The Force seemed to think otherwise." Jinn looks at him in total confusion. "You were supposed to come back. The Force told me that you were going to come back. And then you didn't. Did you even think about me?"

"Every day."

Obi-Wan gapes at him. "That is such a load of _banthashit."_

_"Excuse me?"_

"You never broke our Force bond. I could _feel_ you shove it to the back of you mind. I _felt_ you forget about me!"

"I could not remain attached. It goes against the Jedi Code."

"You didn't seem to care about that when you were off with your girlfriend." Off to the side, Skywalker flinches, his Force presence spasming before calming down, though Obi-Wan has no idea why and doesn't care.

"That is your problem, Obi-Wan," Jinn says sagely, like he's above mere earthly problems like _compassion_ and _emotions._ "You were always too angry to be a good Jedi."

"And it was your job to teach me! Not to just throw me to the side when I got too annoying!" He gestures to Skywalker. "I can feel his Force presence. He's angrier than I ever was. Are you going to abandon him when _he_ wants to help a war-torn planet and you can't be bothered? Or, no, because after yelling at me about how Jedi aren't meant to be soldiers, you're leading a war! You're a hypocrite, Qui-Gon Jinn, and if I could go back in time, I'd let Xanatos kill you."

"That is not a Jedi's mindset."

"Well, it's a good thing you made sure that I'd never be a Jedi, right?"

"Qui-Gon, is this true?" Skywalker asks, his expression cracked open. Next to him, Tano's gaze flickers between Obi-Wan and Jinn. The clones stand frozen around the rooms, their Force signatures collectively confused and angry. Obi-wan doubts they covered _what to do when you find out your Jedi General is a dick_ in whatever training program they went through.

"It's true," Qui-Gon says. "And you still haven't answered my original question, Obi-Wan. Why are you here? To finally succumb to your anger and kill me?"

"No," Obi-Wan says. "If I killed you, I'd be hunted down by every bounty hunter on your side. I have a life, no thanks to you, and I'd not like to ruin it."

"Then you expect me to believe that you are here by coincidence?"

"Oh, no. I'm here to remind you that you've failed. That you couldn't even raise me to Knighthood. That your second Padawan fell to the Dark Side, and you couldn't do anything about it." He takes a step towards Jinn, and the clones behind Jinn raise their blasters. Jinn raises a hand, and they put them back down. Jinn opens his mouth, but Obi-Wan isn't done yet.

"You refuse to acknowledge the existence of your first Padawan. The only successful person you've ever raised, and you can't even look at him. How do you think Feemor feels about that?" He takes another step forward, and gestures to Skywalker and Tano. "Skywalker can't be older than, what, twenty? He's got a Padawan of his own, and I can already tell that he's doing a better job raising her than you did for any of _us._ You know why?" he asks, taking another step and not waiting for an answer before continuing. "I've known him for less than an hour and I can tell that he actually gives a shit about people other than himself! A revolutionary concept, I know. Obviously he didn't get that from you."

"Obi-Wan…" Jinn says, but Obi-Wan cuts him off.

"No. I don't want to hear it. I don't care. I'm not here for closure. I'm not here to beg forgiveness. I'm not going to kill you, because I want you to live with this. I want you to lose sleep over the knowledge that you fail everyone you come into contact with. Your Padawans, your friends, hells, even your Master is the leader of the Force-damned _Confederacy_."

Obi-Wan's practically suffocating in the shock from the rest of the room at _that_ little revelation. He takes another step forward, so that he's almost in Jinn's face. "I'm not going to kill you," he says, "because I want you to live with the knowledge that you are a _horrible_ Jedi, and a worse person."

He turns away from Jinn to storm out of the room, but Jinn's hand clamps around his left wrist. Obi-Wan whips around, mostly on instinct, ripping his wrist from Jinn's grasp, grabbing the lightsaber that sits, hidden, on his belt, and placing it against Jinn's neck.

"Touch me again and I'll cut your arms off," he says.

"Where did you get that?" Jinn asks.

"From your room at the Jedi Temple. It _is_ mine, after all."

"Wha-how- you can't just _break into the Jedi Temple!_ " Skywalker says.

"I can, and I did," Obi-Wan says, putting his lightsaber away. "I'd say it's been nice to catch up, but it hasn't. I hope I never see you again."

He turns to leave again, and no one stops him. For the added drama - and a bit of self-indulgence - he throws the doors to the room open with the Force as he leaves, slamming them shut behind him.

"Master, what the fuck was all of that?" he hears Skywalker ask before the doors close.

Obi-Wan smirks to himself as he leaves. _That_ is a conversation he doesn't want to be a part of.

He's done with the Jedi, anyway.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm on Tumblr at elipson. Come say hi!
> 
> I'm gonna be real this was more of a rant than a coherent story but I hope you enjoyed anyway!


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